Eating corn on the cob

Idiomania
By OH TEIK THEAM

LISA and Joanne are enjoying some delicious ais kacang at a food stall. Looking at the generous helpings of maize grains in their bowls, Lisa asks her bosom friend, “Jo, how do you eat your corn on the cob?”

Recovering quickly from the little surprise, Joanne replies, her spoon arrested in her hand, “Well, I go round the ear in a circle. Is there a better way?”

“The interesting thing about eating corn on the cob is that everyone thinks that her way is the right one,” says Lisa with an impish grin. “I, too, go round the ear in a circle, but my better half and I don’t see eye to eye on this trivial matter – he eats his corn on the cob in a different way.”

“How does he eat it?” Joanne asks.

“He nibbles from side to side like a typewriter, eating the grains from left to right and repeating the process until they all disappear into his mouth,” Lisa says. With an exaggerated sigh, she adds, “He finds fault with my way of eating this food and boasts that his way is inarguably the proper one.”

“How does your daughter eat it?” Joanne asks.

“Well, she follows her father’s style, but with a remarkable difference – she has a bidirectional approach.”

“What do you mean?” Joanne says. “I’m ‘corn-fused’.”

“Well,” explains Lisa, “her bites are from left to right and then from right to left, and she repeats this methodical attack until all the golden grains are orally stripped from the cob.”

Tickled pink, Joanne says as a cheerful smile overspreads her rubicund face, “Well, I never! I think this is an unusual way of eating corn on the cob!”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Lisa says, spooning some of the ais kacang into her mouth. And then with a twinkle in her eye, she asks, “Have you seen small children eating corn on the cob?”

“No.”

“They like to eat the soft spots first, resulting in messy corn ears.”

Joanne exclaims shrilly, “A-maize-ing kids!”

Bosom friend: A very close friend.

Someone’s better half: Someone’s husband or wife.

See eye to eye: To agree.

Find fault with: To criticise.

Tickled pink: Extremely amused or delighted.

Well, I never!: I’ve never heard or seen anything like this before.

Couldn’t agree more: Agree completely.